I was meeting with a client yesterday who is having challenges dealing with a new person in her business. He is quite task driven and not very intuitive about reading people. It doesn’t help that he has been working mostly on his own in the past 5 years, with few resources. He now has a team that he is not sure how to utilise. He doesn’t naturally think about his team when he prepares to achieve his goals in any given project. He is brilliant at creating a strategy to gain a win for his clients but has significant blind spots around his communication with people. As his team leader, my client has the role of helping him (and others who are struggling to relate to him) understand his blind spots so he can become a better team player.
We all have blind spots
We are all most blind when it comes to ourselves. This is why self-awareness is the key to developing emotional intelligence (EQ). The more aware you are of how you are coming across to others in any given situation, AND the better you can read how people are responding to you, the easier it is to manage your behaviour and your relationships. The good news about EQ is that there are skills you can learn to grow and change. EQ is developable. It always starts with self-awareness.
We all need help to understand and see our blind spots
70 years ago, Jospeh Luft and Harrington Ingham developed a tool to help individuals within a team context improve self-awareness and understanding of their interaction with others. It became known as The Johari Window. It is a visual describing ‘The Self’ in relationships.
The Johari Window
Open self – the part of you that you are free to share openly.
Hidden self – the part of you that you prefer not to share freely with others.
Blind self – the part of you that others see but you do not.
Unknown self – the part of you that neither you nor others see … yet.
The premise behind this is: the more you are willing to be open about yourself with others, the larger your area of free activity (Open self) will grow.
This usually starts by being more open about your thoughts and feelings within your team AND being willing to receive feedback from others about how they see you. This works to learn about your strengths and weaknesses.
You learn to see yourself in ways you have not seen before. This is how you can start to see and then act to minimise the negative effects of your blind spots.
Often during this kind of personal and relational growth, you also have some ‘aha moments’ where you discover some things about yourself no one knew before.
Good leaders facilitate a safe environment where this kind of growth can happen
Leaders who want to see their team grow and develop into high achievers will be working closely one-to-one and with the team, to ensure that an environment is created where:
- each person can be more open, and vulnerability is respected
- strengths are celebrated and weaknesses are acknowledged without judgement
- people are encouraged to learn about themselves and to become more self-aware
- different ways of seeing are appreciated and encouraged
- communication is continually worked on in a framework of openness and respect
- a group of individuals can become a high-performance team
- everyone grows
There is no need to stay limited by your blind spots
A Business Mentor will also help you grow. It is my privilege to walk alongside many very talented people who are attempting and doing challenging things. There is no need for you to remain blind about yourself in ways that hinder your success. If you are willing to be honest and to grow and change and work on yourself, this is an exciting journey that you will never regret.
John Drury Business Mentor – mentoring to develop the leader within you, and to raise up and empower the leaders around you. If you are interested in learning to become a better leader within your business, please reach out for a free conversation (Book here).
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