You have greatness inside of you
I believe everyone does. We have a yearning for it associated with a deep desire for our life to have meaning, or to make a difference. Deep down we know we are born for more than simply existing or doing the bidding of others. Fortunately, in the 21st Century, almost anyone can pursue that inner quest.
You are often your own greatest enemy
The problem with a quest for greatness is that often you struggle to see it in yourself. You can see it in others. However, the view of you from inside your head is limited. You know your own failings and the fears that rise so quickly and seem so powerful. You doubt yourself, daily, and often deeply. You wonder if you are being unrealistic.
In rare moments of clarity, you see vision that inspires, and you sense a surge of confidence that makes the pathway seem possible. But then clouds of doubt roll in and it all feels like an illusion. Your limiting self-talk bubbles over into negative comments that feel much more like reality. This colours those brief hopeful positive mountain tops moments. When you dare to speak out your vision, it is with a hesitant tone that makes everything appear false. You don’t believe it yourself and therefore you doubt that anyone else would ever support you. It feels much more like the realm of dreams and fantasy not a realistic pathway to be valiantly pursued.
The greatness in you, NEEDS a friend
You and I desperately need to have someone believe in us. Someone who makes it their business to see your potential, not just your flaws. Someone who is willing to encourage, inspire, challenge and support you until you catch hold of a clear vision of who you could be and be willing to walk with you on the journey to become that person. Someone who will hold out a hand to lift you up when you fall. Someone who will stand with you when you feel all alone. Someone who seems to understand you; at times even better than you understand yourself.
You and I need friends. But you do not need a friend who will simply support you in your negative self-talk and help you perpetuate your limited view of yourself. The greatness in you, NEEDS a friend. At least one and ideally a small inner circle of strong people who will be everything outlined in the preceding paragraph.
A good MENTOR is a friend to the greatness in you
A good mentor makes it their business to spot and help release a person’s potential. It is much easier to point out problems and faults and deficiencies and be critical of a person’s fears and failings. While a mentor needs to be realistic and not flatter people, they must see the diamond much more clearly than they see all the dirt which must be dug from around it. In fact, I would say, that if you as a mentor do not see a client’s potential, it will be impossible to be of any meaningful assistance.
Most people already know their flaws. They live with their fears. Most know the problems they are up against. What most people do not have is someone to believe in them and help them release the greatness inside.
To become that kind of mentor requires:
- Significant life experience which includes both success and suffering
- A deep belief that people are amazing and each has greatness within
- A willingness to be curious, ask great questions, and really listen to what is said, and what is unsaid, in a person’s answers
I like to think I am the kind of mentor who can be a friend to the greatness within the clients I am lucky enough to serve. When a person has a dream bubbling up from inside them, and they are a good fit for working with me (in terms of values and commitment), it is very exciting to help them remove ‘the dirt’, and become the person they need to become in order to implement their dream and make a difference in the world around them.
As we start a new year and a whole new decade, do not settle until you find a friend for the greatness in you.