Humans appear to be wired to function best when we have healthy respect for ourselves.
- As a child ideally we will draw the benefits of 2nd hand self-respect passed on and modeled from our parents and family. This is more like self-esteem which depends on the feedback of others.
- Self-respect can be inspired and modeled. However, to gain it requires self-effort and discipline.
- At some point in our adolescent development we must learn to respect ourselves based on who we are and what we have done.
- No-one just develops healthy self-respect automatically and without effort.
- Self-respect is developed by various means such as: learning and developing a skill; working hard at something; doing your best consistently; giving time and effort to care for others; sticking to deeply held values; standing firm under pressure; or overcoming adversity.
- The good news is that self-respect can start to be built and developed, or rebuilt, at any point in your life.
- On the other hand, we can undermine and smash our self-respect when we let ourselves down; when we know we have lied, cheated, fudged, been slack; or received praise for someone else’s efforts; or we compromise our values; yield under pressure; give in to fear; or we fail.
- To maintain healthy self-respect we need to establish meaningful ways of processing guilt and shame, regret and betrayal, and forgiveness.
"It is futile to expect others to do what you can do for yourself. Take ownership of your life and regain your self-respect" ~ Anon
You cannot transfer self-respect from someone else. Self-respect is the gift every human being must learn to give themselves.