They say, “Your attitude determines your altitude.” Dale Carnegie estimated that SUCCESS was 85% attitude and 15% who you know. Well, I am coming to see that finishing well in business and life depends on attitude (in our control) more than circumstances (not always in our control). This model highlights what I mean:
Model explained
For those who keep working on their attitude and remain positive, giving and active they will be either an inspiring overcomer or a giving, serving contributor. From my observation, these people are much more likely to be fulfilled in their later years.
For those who lose the struggle within and become negative, taking or passive they will be either a defeated pauper (and feel like a victim of life) or a miserly Grumbler (‘grumpy old bastard’).
All of us know people who experience many challenges in life but maintain a great attitude. They are the basis for inspiring stories and admiration, as they win their internal fight to remain positive. In contrast we may know people with good health and high capacity (lots of resources) who fail to finish well because they have become isolated and grumpy. This is often because they have lost connection with a sense of purpose beyond themselves.
‘Entitlement’ is not just a younger generation issue.
Older people often feel entitled to their judgemental and negative attitudes. “I’ve earned the right to say and do whatever I want.” That kind of attitude may protect a bruised ego, but I’m pretty sure it does not make people feel particularly warm and open-hearted towards you. It is a conversation and relationship killer, and one of the reasons many older people experience high levels of isolation and loneliness. So many spend the last decades of their life feeling disempowered, and looking back to the good old days, rather than being contributors to the people around them.
It is very easy to become a grumpy old person
As I enter my 8th decade on this planet, I admit I have challenges with some of the changes in our society and the world we live in. Australia was a very different place when I was a 10-year-old boy in Coffs Harbour 60 years ago. I love most of the changes that have occurred in my lifetime. All change is uncomfortable but that doesn’t mean we should want to go back. It wasn’t better back then. Life is different now and mostly it is better.
For those who disengage from active contribution to the world around them, it is challenging not to become negative, critical, and even worse, cynical. Cynicism opens a very depressing pathway forward.
Focus on the good things in your life. And if you don’t have something constructive to say about things you do not like, then better to say nothing. Or support those who appear to be doing good.
Attitudes and activities that will help you finish well
Whatever state this article finds you in today, I encourage you to focus on what you can do to remain a contributing and inspiring person to those around you. Some attitudes and activities that will help:
- Embrace ‘lifelong learning’ as a value. There is so much that is fascinating about the world, people, and technology. You do not need to be an expert, or even interested in everything, but it helps you stay mentally alert and healthy if you are learning and doing new things each week.
- Be curious instead of always saying what you ‘know’ to be right. Judgement is destructive to relationships. Curiosity is the opposite of judgement. To open a wider set of relationships, learn to ask questions more than make statements of opinion. Learn to listen more deeply so you can better connect with others.
- Try to engage with younger people in a way that makes them want to spend time with you. Interestingly, I have learned they do not expect older people to be interested in them. The generation gap will persist, unless we as the more experienced humans are secure enough to take the initiative.
- Don’t give advice unless it is requested. The only time your ‘learned wisdom’ is likely to be called upon is if you have built a relationship of trust where others ask you for advice. Advice given without being requested is usually not appreciated. Don’t be passive and wait to be asked. Be active and interested in others and build relationships.
- Surround yourself with other positive people. You are impacted more than you realise by those around you. Attitudes are contagious. It is already a fight to stay positive as you get older, don’t reinforce negative attitudes by mixing with other grumpy old people.
The Bible verse quoting the Apostle Paul is relevant here. “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith” (2 Timothy 4:7). Until we draw our final breath, we need to make sure this is one fight we do not lose. Doing these 5 things will contribute significantly to helping us win, especially in our later years.
Keep the faith. Fight the good fight. Run your race until the very end. And you will probably not ever be alone. You are more likely to finish well.
Your transition to a life bigger than just working.
I have assisted several business owners to create a plan for how they will exit their busy work life and move into a purpose-filled life bigger than just working. The time to start thinking about this is not when it is forced upon you. To do it well, it is a 3-to-5-year process.
If you would like to have a conversation about how you might navigate your journey, please reach out. Book a time for a conversation here. Or respond to this newsletter by return email.
John Drury Business Mentor – mentoring to develop the leader within you, and to raise up and empower the leaders around you. If you are interested in learning to become a better leader within your business, please reach out for a free conversation (Book here).
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